It is with great honor that i was asked by my good friend sir Douglas Furrier if i would like to apply to the Upper Canada Chaps Society, a gathering of civilized sorts bent on returning to long-past days of chivalry, gentility, and general good taste.
See below my letter of intent.
from: Pippa Ellsworth Marigold
date: September 11, 2006
subject: Please Forward to the Pertinent Personages
Dearest Dandies, Flaneurs, and most convivial chaps,
I have had the honor of being forwarded the latest correspondence from Mr. Wildflower to Sir Furrier, and am writing this with a slight apprehension that if I am not prompt in my reply, I will lay waste this second chance to be included in such fine e-pistles and worldy missives as you all seem to have been indulging in for some time.
For many a month now I have sat, sipping tea and staring out my basement window, at the flabby buttocks and unfortunate footwear that pass me by, wondering where and what civilization has gotten to. Could it be that the lifting of a dog's leg is all that is left to mark the cultural progress of my fair neighbourhood?
Well by the tiny balls of Christ, I fervently hope Not.
Perhaps, then, a hearkening unto new avenues of discriminating pursuits and dialogues will prove fruitful? I certainly hope so.
I have few recent tales of exotic lands, having landed, oh, now, four years ago, from mine own worldy travels; to this (ahem) "fair" city of Toronto, in the hopes of making something vaguely respectable out of myself.
I am however prone to frequent bouts of teary nostalgia, for dreary foreign lands with overcooked food, for incomprehensible guides through highly underrated nooks and crannies of the East, as well as other less-spoken of but equally curious nether regions of this fair planet.
I would be most happy to partake in any like-minded meanderings, as well as perhaps contribute a thought or two from my modest corner of existence, were you to be so kind as to accept me into your brethren.
Most kind regards, and a toast to you all, mit (unintentionally) soggy biscuit,
Pippa Ellsworth Marigold. (Esquiré)
ps. (having just received an outline for potential membership, mere MOMENTS before sending this off, I would like to add a small...adjunct, complimenting the present members of the UCCS on their genius and all-round chapliness. So there. Pip Pip. Jolly Good.)