09 December 2006

unsolicited submissions and a tiny, tiny world.

I was reading a short essay on a self-publishing project the other day that had been submitted to Br...ck (ah, ellipses, bane of the spambot world). It was about two people who had put a book project together that no one would publish, and so they decided to publish it themselves. They approached Co..ch Haus (heheh) about printing it.

It was only at this moment that I realized i was now passing judgement on a process essay about one of the first books I was responsible for putting together when I started working there last year.

Well, i did manage to find out they were immensely happy with the results!

small victories.

For almost two months I have been unsuccessfully calling Annex Property Management, the people who deal with my old apartment building (yes googlers, that's ANNEX PROPERTY MANAGEMENT, or perhaps if you google "Incompetent Dickheads" you would arrive at the same agency.) It's about my rent-interest cheque, a measly $60, but they have been negligent for my entire tenancy, and assholes to boot, so now it's the principle of the matter.
They had, of course, not returned one phone call.
And so, upon vacating the building, I decided that the gate key (a special security gate key that is costly to replicate) would come with me, as well as my apartment and mail keys.
And today i get a phone call from the above, telling me that (shocker) they still have my rent-interest cheque, and perhaps I could meet up with the superintendent and make a "swap"?

small victories, dear reader(s). It's all about the small victories.

08 December 2006

we can double your one-eye monster size.

oh spam.
how you brighten my day with the boundless stretch of possibility.
would that they could, i think. would that they COULD.

06 December 2006

a fashionable day

there are few things more immediately gratifying than leaving the house in legwarmers, i've decided.
especially stripey ones.

thank you doctor dictionary.

Today's Word: Dwam (Noun)

Pronunciation: ['dwæm]

Definition 1: 1) A fainting fit, a swoon; 2) a daydream.

Usage 1: In north-eastern Scotland a sickly child can be called "dwamie" or "dwamish," demonstrating that the two meanings of "dwam" are not as far apart as they at first appear. The feverish child not only feels faint, but may also drift off into half-waking reveries. To be "in a dwam" is to be far gone in a daydream. The verb "to dwam" means "to faint," but to "dwam over" is simply to drift off gently to sleep or to take a nap.

Suggested Usage: "Dwamming over" is just as pleasant as it sounds: "I had just dwammed over nicely last Sunday afternoon, when some idiot phoned the wrong number and woke me up." But going into a dwam at the wrong moment can be problematic: "I came out of a dwam at the last board meeting to discover I'd been elected to chair the pay-review committee."

Etymology: Originally spelled "dwalm," this word reaches back to an old Germanic "strong" verb, the sort that switches vowels as it changes tense, like "swim : swam." In this case it shifted from "dwel-" to "dwal-" to "dwol-", and meant something like "to be stunned" or "to go astray." From the present tense of the same verb we have derived English "dwell," which originally meant "to delay" or "to desist from action," and only later shifted to take on its modern meaning of staying in one place for some time.

item number 16 you don't want to find when scrubbing under the veggie drawer in the fridge in your new apartment.




04 December 2006

permission to create a tiny bloggy window into the witticisms of the UCCS.

I was asked earlier this month if I would like to apply to be a member of the UCCS. I was thrilled. Just now, I've received note that I might share these witticisms with anyone lucky enough to stumble upon this blog. And so, dear reader(s), I refer you to the posts of a week or so back, and then the application update, followed by my joyous acceptance.

on the signboard of a useless accessory store.

"how many times do i have to tell you i'm not going to lick that icky thing?"

03 December 2006

someone's purple bum.

went to an art opening tonight at the Wallace space, and amidst the countless wonderful installations was a wall with four squares cut out in it, two of which framed human skin in different, changing capacities over the course of the night. When I arrived up at the wall, people were deliberating over the one, which was a purple poke-worthy bit that seemed much like a belly. Some strange lady and I had a mini-debate over whether it was a belly or a bum, which of course ended in me going up and poking said unknowable body part, which was covered in purple body paint.
Moments later the portion of skin shifted, and what appeared in the square frame?
a bum crack, ladies and gentlemen.
a bum crack.
i poked a purple bum this evening.
could i be Any More Bohemian?